Classmates

Now I realize that something is missing, and that my classmates are not friends with me not because of me (because I am cold with them). If I am not reaching out to them, it's because I sense they are not interested in friendship. When I decide to reach out to them, believing that I am the problem, they barely reciprocate. I felt the difference today with my IPS classmates and Anusha. Anusha looks at me with such admiration and is interested in me. I feel so happy and comfortable, and her affection for me changes my mood. I went from being unhappy, maybe depressed, to happy all of a sudden! Now I know that if everyone at this university were like Anusha--interested--I would not be going through this phase of depression that I have been going through. I remember what it was like to have friends like Anusha who were interested in me and admired me. Adriana and Renee used to say that my presence in their lives. (written March 21, 2013).