Strong and weak: relative categories

Some of us can be preoccupied with being in our own eyes the kind of person we would like to be or think we need to be. Why we would like to be a certain way versus another is affected in one of two ways or both: we strive to be the opposite of what we dislike in others (for example if we observe an unattractive attitude in someone, we may say to ourselves "That is so ugly. I never want to be like that."  The other thing that influences the kind of image we put before us is the image constructed for us by a beloved. A significant other might dislike characteristics about you (e.g. being the reserved type) and want you to have others (e.g. to be talkative or perhaps bubbly). One should be careful of this second influence, because the change is not always warranted, and the motivation for changing not natural or organic, not to mention that his or her opinion of you is sometimes perception or even projection (due to what he/she might dislike in his or herself either because it is disliked in itself or because another significant other disliked it in him or her). On this topic I recommend the book Touching the Holy: Ordinariness, Self-Esteem, and Friendship by Robert J. Wicks. The thrust of this book is that we should learn to bring down the idol that is the image we have set up for ourselves and embrace whatever we see in ourselves and judge to be ordinary and not extra-ordinary, whatever in our view does not make us stand out. It's funny how we (or at least I) wish to be special in the eyes of others. To wish to be special is good. But my desire to be special takes the form of something more, I believe. I'm not sure how to put it in words yet. It is very much felt.